Ice Fishing

 The man behind the counter at the hardware store in Grand Marais was mildly curious when a couple of Iowans came in  and asked for two fishing licenses and a couple ice picks.  "Doin' a little ice fishing?", he inquired.  One of the men nodded, made the purchases and then the two departed.  About an hour later, the men returned and bought several more ice picks.  He wanted to ask more questions but the men seemed in a big hurry, so he just gave them their change and told them "good luck."  This time about an hour and a half passed before the men returned again.  "Say," one asked, "you wouldn't happen to have a whole box of those picks, would you?"  The clerk checked in the storeroom, found a full box of new ice picks and brought them out front where the man promptly paid for them and headed for the door.  "Don't need any waxworms, do you?" the clerk asked, but the man was already out the door.
Four hours passed before the men, looking chilled to the bone, entered the store one more time.  "How's the fishing?", the clerk asked as he put a fresh box of ice picks on the counter.  "Fishing?!", one replied.  "Hell, we just got the canoe in the lake."
        (Now, you have to realize that I am an Iowan and still love this joke!  Jim)


     A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to          catch those fish?"
    The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
    "Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
    "Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
    "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
    The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
    "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.
    The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
    "Well, what?" the man asked.
    "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
    "Call who back?" the man asked.
    "The FISH."
    "What fish?" the man asked.
 

Dorothy's husband Bob died suddenly one day. Dorothy was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Bob's obituary to read.
    Dorothy asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?"
    The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word."
    Dorothy then said, "I want the obituary to read - BOB IS DEAD."
The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Bob's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal.  Since I knew Bob so well, I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket."
    Dorothy's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - BOB IS DEAD, BOAT FOR SALE."


Pete decided to go ice fishing one fine winter's day.  Though he was a bit near-sighted, he felt confident in being able to go safely by himself.  Humming to himself, Pete began drilling his first hole when he heard a loud voice from above say "Stop--there are no fish under the ice."  Three times he started to drill and heard the same voice, same words.  "By Golly," Pete said, looking towards the heavens, "is that you, Lord?"
"No, stupid," came the reply, "I'm the hockey rink announcer ."



Care to share a few chuckles?  Send your contributions to  Jim's BWCA Humor page.
 
 

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